Been Switched!
by Erriel
Summary: When a hole starts sucking up Pokémon characters, Ash’s Pokémon journey is acted out again. Only this time, some very different characters are playing the parts. Starring Richie as Ash, Giovanni as Mrs. Ketchum, and Togepi as…uh, fried eggs.
1. The Purple Portal

Prologue ** "The Purple Portal"**

* * *

It was another uneventful day in the Pokémon world. Ash, Misty, and Brock were off getting lost in…uh, journeying the vast region of Johto. But behind the scenes, some other, very bored cast members were clicking away in Nintendo's local computer lab. Checking out, of course, their favorite Pokémon fanfiction sites.

Pushing a shock of long brown hair from her face, May bent towards the computer screen. Her face went through a veritable rainbow of emotions as she did: taking on an angry red glare, shifting into a pale, shaken frown, and finally, assuming a sickly green tinge. Trapped in a sort of morbid fascination, she placed a trembling hand on the mouse and scrolled down the page.

There was a strangled shriek as the young girl fell out of her chair. She twitched spastically for a few seconds before growing still.

Hearing the crash, May's little brother, Masato, poked his head around the corner of the computer terminal. "May, you okay?" he asked tentatively, stepping around the overturned chair. He knelt and poked his sister once, then twice, in the arm. 

No response.

The screen of May's computer caught Masato's eye as he rose to his feet. "1,247,600,000 Ways to KILL May!!!!, by MistyRulz!" he read with a groan. His face, too, turned an ugly shade of green as he skimmed the first few items of the list. "Why does she even bother reading these things?" 

"Hey, Masato! Hi, May! What's up?"

Masato turned as a friendly brown-haired trainer, a Pikachu balanced atop his shoulder, walked past. "Hi, Richie," he said, waving half-heartedly back at the other boy.

"What happened to May?" Richie asked, eyeing the unconscious girl with concern.

Masato sighed as he pulled a PokéBall from May's pack. "You don't want to know," he replied, tapping a finger against the PokéBall's silver release button. A bright-eyed, fluffy-feathered Pokémon materialized instantly at Masato's feet, tweeting happily. "Torchic," Masato commanded wearily, pointing to the fallen May. "Use an Ember attack."

Still chirping merrily along, Torchic obeyed.

May yelped as the flames contacted with her face. A bat of the eye later, she was on her feet, hair singed and smoke pouring out of her ears. "WHAT kind of people would DO something like THAT?"

Masato, with his infinite wisdom, ran. May, left with no little brother to take out her anger on, ended up blindly grabbing Richie by the shoulders. Sparky, fortunately, managed to jump off before May began to throttle its trainer. "DON'T they have anything BETTER to do with their SICK little minds?!!!" she ranted wildly.

"D-d-d-do wh-wh-what-t-t-t?" Richie choked out as May shook him back and forth.

With a howl, May released Richie and marched up to the computer. "Read!" she commanded him, pointing one gloved finger at the screen.

"Chu!" Sparky protested as it trotted back up, black eyes sharp with suspicion. Richie, however, had no such feelings of mistrust. 

"Anything to help out a fellow trainer!" he smiled, propping up the chair and seating himself nonchalantly in it. May waited impatiently as Richie began to read. Sure enough, after only a few seconds in, a frown had begun to crease Richie's forehead.

"It's horrible, isn't it?" May demanded.

Richie nodded grimly. "I can't believe anyone would do something like this," he said with a despairing sigh. "I mean, everyone knows that Lists aren't allowed on FanFiction.Net. And look at this! The writer forgot to put in a comma, right there!"

Before he could point out the offending spot, May groaned and shoved his cap over his eyes. 

"I can't believe this!" she cried. "I'll bet half these people _haven't_ even seen me in an actual episode, yet they're already forming anti-May clubs! I mean, c'mon! Just look at the so-called reasons why this author says I should die! 'May doesn't deserve to take Misty's place. She's SUCH an ugly @#!% and she dresses like a slut!!!' "

Richie reflexively sunk a little lower in his seat. May's face had taken on an extremely dangerous look, one more characteristic of a rampaging demon than the slightly goofy, happy-go-lucky girl she was supposed to be.

"Honestly, MistyRulz, or whatever your real name is!" May seethed, blue eyes blazing and gloved fists clenching. "It's not like _I_ pulled Misty off the show kicking and screaming! In fact, Misty and I are perfectly good friends! We play volleyball at the beach together every Friday! Of course, there was that one time I hit the ball into Togepi…but that was an accident! You people don't need to hate me for it!!!"

"Sorry to burst your bubble, May, but you'd better get used to being hated," came a new voice from above.

Looking up, May saw none other than Tracey Sketchit leaning over the barrier that separated her computer terminal from his own. "Sorry to butt in, but you have no idea what Iwent through when the producers stuck me in instead of Brock," Tracey went on with a long-suffering sigh. "Never went one week without hatemail overloading my inbox. But poor you, May." He shook his head pityingly. "Even I wouldn't want to switch places with you."

"It can't be all _that _bad," Richie said.

"Pika!" Sparky groaned, rolling its eyes at its trainer's naivety. 

"Oh, yes it can!" May retorted, hands on hips. "Half the Misty fans from here to Antarctica want my blood! And that doesn't count all the people who hate me because they think _I_ break up Ash and Misty."

"You're breaking up Ash and Misty?" Tracey said, aghast. "Wow, May, I had no idea…"

May's withering glare cut him off in mid-sentence, causing Tracey to hastily change the subject. "Well, like I was saying before…I'm sorry, Richie, but you just don't have any idea what it's like to be a replacement character!"

"I've had my share," Richie said sincerely. "There are at least a dozen sites out there calling me a boringly perfect Ash clone. Or saying that I have really bad fashion sense. Which, if I were really Ash's clone, would mean that Ash has really bad fashion sense, too…But there are still people who like me, you know!" he added, smiling with all the optimism he could muster. "So, naturally, there's gotta be people out there who like you guys, too!"

"That's what you think," Tracey said dejectedly. "But when you're a replacement character, it's perfectly normal to come home and find four new bash-fics on FanFiction.Net. It's just like…like…"

"Like the entire world hates you," May finished glumly. 

Richie tried his best to reassure both of them. "Oh, I'm sure all those people don't _ really _hate you! They're just mad because you…well…took the place of the characters they already liked."

Both May and Tracey glared, so he quickly tried to amend himself. "I mean, it's not that you guys aren't likable! Really, I'll bet if the series started off with you guys instead of Brock and Misty, then everybody would love _you_ more than _them_! They wouldn't want to see _you_ replaced by different characters!"

"Do you…really think so? Tracey asked hesitantly. "Come to think of it, I guess I _do_ have a few fans. Maybe I grew on people or something during the Orange League." His clouded dark eyes suddenly cleared. "Hang on, I get what you're saying now! If I'd been there from the _start_ of the series, then people would have had a lot more time to accept me. And the people who hate me now, they wouldn't hate me as much!"

"It only makes sense!" Richie said with confident cheer. "If Ash had traveled with May first instead of Misty, we'd have anti-Misty clubs and AAM...oh, we'd still have AAMR, wouldn't we? And if Tracey had come before Brock, people would throw 'Bring Back Tracey!' riots and march around with signs saying 'Destroy the Squinty-Eyed One!' Not that that would be very nice, either…"

"But that's just the problem!" May pointed out. "_We _weren't there first! Which means most everybody still hates us! If they wouldn't have hated us in the first place, that is."

Tears formed in both Tracey's and May's eyes. "It's not fair!" they howled in unison. May, in fact, was so upset she pounded her fists into the barrier between the terminals. Tracey, as precariously balanced as he was, went toppling over said barrier. He fell right on top of May's computer.

The computer crashed onto the floor, sparks flying in every direction. Richie winced as bits of plastic debris hit him full in the face. When the smoke had finally cleared, a very dazed looking Tracey was lying amid the smoldering remains.

"Ah! My MP3s!" May cried.

"Pikaah chu!" Sparky smirked. The Pikachu, of course, had just been about to launch into a lecture on the consequences of hoarding illegal music files, when its trainer cut it off.

"Sparky, get back!"

From its position atop the desk, Pikachu swerved about. Above the remains of the demolished computer, and right behind Sparky, the air was swirling in a very peculiar way indeed. Ripples of indigo formed in midair, pulsating and expanding like some enormous gulping mouth. When it had stopped growing at last, a glowing purple portal floated fully-revealed in the middle of the cubicle. 

"Something really weird is going on," Tracey stated, backing nervously away from the hole. The purple portal lowered to fill the space he vacated.

"Sparky!" Richie called again. "You'd better get over here."

The Pikachu leapt down from the desk the computer had formerly rested on. Posture casual and undaunted, it made as if to dart around the strange portal. Unfortunately, the Pikachu failed to notice the piece of plastic directly in the middle of its path.

"CHU!"

"Sparky!" Richie yelled as his Pikachu slipped and went rolling across the floor. The gaping purple hole seemed to swell in anticipation. With a _whoosh!_ of air, it swallowed the squealing Sparky, flailing limbs and all.

"No!" Richie screamed. "May, Tracey, quick! We've got to warn everybody about this!" Scrambling onto his feet, he began to run.

But before he could get anywhere, the purple portal swooped down upon him. Richie didn't even have time to scream as the hole engulfed his still-running body. 

Both May and Tracey watched in horror as Richie's blue-and-yellow cap fluttered onto the ground, the only remnant of the young trainer. 

Burping loudly, the swirling hole bulged outward. Then, gurgling maliciously, it gobbled up its remaining two victims. Only Tracey's wild screech escaped from the void's churning confines. "When it says delete them after 24 hours, May, DELETE THEM AFTER 24 HOURS!!!"

Masato, who'd been hiding from the wrath of his sister in a nearby cubicle, heard this bloodcurdling scream. "Guys!" he shouted, jumping up and hitting his head on the desk he'd been crouching under. Gingerly rubbing his new bump, he stumbled out and tore down the aisle. "May? Richie? Tracey?"

As he peeked around the corner, Masato saw his sister's kicking legs, along with Tracey's shrieking face, disappear into the monstrous portal. Gyrating wildly, the purple hole swelled in malevolent glee. Then, after ejecting a second burp, it turned onto a gulping Masato.

Masato, still as wise as ever, didn't give a second thought to his fallen friends. He ran as fast as his little legs would carry him.

* * *

Whee, that was a fun switch from what I usually write. FYI, May (Japanese name Haruka) is the female lead of Pokémon Advanced, the sixth season of Pokémon which is currently being shown in Japan. She's an inexperienced trainer from the Hoenn region of Pokémon R/S and joins up with Ash after Misty returns to Cerulean City (which, consequently, doesn't make her too popular with some Misty fans). Masato, May's younger brother, also joins the group shortly afterwards.


	2. Insanity, I Choose You!

Chapter One

** "Insanity! I Choose You!"**

* * *

_Ding!_

As he slowly came to, Richie groaned. His head was throbbing and in the background, a television was broadcasting some Pokémon tournament. The roaring commentary and blaringly loud music that accompanied it did nothing to improve the Richie's pounding headache. Groggily, the trainer tried to sit up.

The ground gave way beneath him. With a yelp, he tumbled down, flapping vines ensnaring his arms and legs. He struggled for several tense seconds before thinking to look up.

The supposed "vines" were actually bed sheets. And the "ground" he'd fallen off was the edge of a bed. Feeling incredibly stupid, Richie untangled himself and got onto his feet. "Sparky?" he called anxiously, kicking the sheets aside. "Hey, Sparky! Where are you?"

Something soft squished underfoot. "Pikah!" came a strangled squeal.

Glancing down in trepidation, Richie gulped to see a patch of yellow fur right beneath his right foot. But stepping back, he saw that it was only a talking Pikachu plush toy.

Similar Pokémon plushies littered the room he was standing in, along with trainer magazines, Pokémon posters, and other assorted Pokémon merchandise. This was definitely the room of a child, a _very _messy child probably aspiring to be the world's greatest Pokémon master or something of the like. 

"And Nidorina begins the battle with a Horn Attack! But Gengar bounces right back, and…oh, there it is! The Hypnosis power of…"

Wincing, Richie started towards the front of the room. Whoever this room belonged to, they should've turned off the TV when leaving. Or, at the very least, they could've thought to turn down the volume.

The door burst open just as Richie reached forward, one finger extended to the OFF button.

"Richie! Get to bed, now!"

Richie jumped. His foot caught on the Pikachu plushie again, sending him skidding across the ground and slamming into the legs of a very angry, very intimidating, very unfamiliar man.

"Sorry, sir!" the young trainer gulped. "I-I didn't mean to trespass into your house! I really didn't! But, you see, there was this big purple hole that ate my Pikachu, and then it ate me, too! And now I don't know where I am, or where Sparky…" 

He was cut short as the man grabbed him by the ear and yanked him onto his feet. "Ow! What was that for!"

"It's 11 o'clock, young man, and you should be asleep!" the man roared. 

Richie automatically shrank several inches. "B-but, sir!" he protested weakly. "This isn't my house! I don't even know where I am! And, if you'll beg my pardon, who exactly are you?"

The man ignored Richie, concentrating instead on brushing off his already spotless orange suit and red tie. Over which, Richie noted with wide-eyes, was worn a frilly pink apron. 

"We're in Pallet Town, of course!" the man in the apron boomed. "And I'm your father, Giovanni Ketchum! Now go back to your room, Richie, and get to sleep! Tomorrow's a very important day!"

"Excuse me, sir!" Richie said rather indignantly. "But that'snot my room! I'd never keep _my _room in _that_ condition! And no offense or anything, but you're not my father! Ketchum is Ash's last name!"

The man's clouded eyes suddenly cleared. Groaning, he put a hand to his forehead, as if trying to ward off an enormous headache. "One minute I'm sitting in the office plotting evil schemes," he muttered to himself. "The next, some glowing hole appears and tells me I need to develop a more 'family-oriented' image. Ack!" He had finally noticed the pink apron he was wearing. "I knew I shouldn't have had that extra bottle of champagne last night!"

Richie watched nervously as Giovanni made to yank off the apron. But as soon as the man moved, his eyes grew unfocused once again. To Richie's dismay, a sickly smile was now forming on Giovanni's face.

"Go to bed, son," Giovanni said in a stern, but kind voice. "Tomorrow's the day you begin your Pokémon journey."

"No, wait!" Richie cried as the door started to close. "I started my Pokémon journey ages ago! And I'm not your son! Please, sir! I need to find my Pikachu and go home! Don't close…!"

The door slammed shut, accompanied by the click of a lock.

* * *

During the first few hours of his captivity, Richie contemplated picking the door lock with a paperclip. He tried several times with the ones he conveniently found on a nearby desk, but for all his efforts, only succeeded in bending them beyond use. He even thought about escaping through the window. Unfortunately, the window lock was rusted past the point of ever opening again. 

"Sparky," the trainer said mournfully, giving the lock another twist. "Why DON'T things like being attacked by a zombie in a suit claiming to be your father ever happen to ASH?!" He snapped out of his uncharacteristic bout of anger a split-second later. "Not that that's Ash's fault or anything like that," he finished miserably. "Come on! I can think through this! I'm not gonna give up! I'm gonna find Sparky and find us both a way back home! As soon as I…get this lock…open!"

Panting, Richie surveyed his work. The window lock hadn't budged one bit.

It took every shred of boring, perfect, and Ash in him to resist the urge to curse.

* * *

The shrill cry of a Doduo pierced the air early the next morning. Wiping a string of drool from his mouth, Richie looked dazedly up at the sunlight streaming into the cluttered room.

"Still trapped in the same nightmare," he groaned, picking himself up from where he'd fallen asleep by the window. Making as little noise as possible, he tiptoed to the door and tried the knob.

It turned!

Stifling a whoop of joy, Richie slipped through the hallway, made his way down the stairs, slunk over to the front door, and eased out. Only then did he race down the dirt path leading away from the house, heaving a sigh of relief.

"If I'm really in Pallet Town," he mused to himself, "maybe Professor Oak's still at that lab up there! I'll bet he can help me find Sparky and get back!"

This plan fixated firmly in his mind, Richie pelted up the road with renewed spirits. He was so anxious, in fact, that he failed to notice the large crowd forming in front of the Oak residence. Or, for that matter, the small, blue-haired girl that was directly in the middle of his path.

"Oomph!"

"Hey, watch where you're going!" the girl cried as Richie knocked both of them to the ground. Her eyes brightened as they fell upon the boy's tousled countenance. "Hey, Richie!" she grinned, good cheer instantaneously restored.

Richie blinked as she pulled him onto his feet. "D-do I know you?"

"Sure you do!" the girl cried, bouncing about on the balls of her feet. "I'm Casey! Appeared in 'The Double Trouble Header,' Episode #118 and 'The Bug Stops Here,' Episode 161; plus, I'm scheduled to make an appearance in…"

"Okay, okay!" Richie said, holding up both hands. 

"Don't you remember me at all?" Casey demanded, eyes narrowing. "I stood next to you in the fifth season theme song, after all!"

Richie nodded hastily before going on. "Casey, have you seen a Pikachu around here?" he asked. "And…what happened to your hair?"

Casey ran a hand through her very long, very blue, _very_ spiked hair. "Don't know," she shrugged. "I was playing baseball with Mr. Mime and Mewtwo just a minute ago, when this weird purple hole came down out of nowhere. Next thing I know, I'm standing here with my hair like this, some lady hands me a PokéBall, and this huge crowd is cheering my name."

"Casey! Casey!" screamed said crowd on cue.

"It's kinda weird, but it's also pretty cool," Casey admitted. Turing back to her adoring fans, she flung her arms out and cried, "Thank you! Thank you! You're all too kind!"

A squadron of cheering men in yellow baseball uniforms drove up in a car and escorted Casey in. With a burst of exhaust, they were down the road, the entire crowd racing after to wave Casey goodbye.

"Well, that was a lot of help," Richie sighed, slumping back in frustration. 

"So you decided to show up after all, Richie Ketchum."

Swerving about at the sound of the low, drawling voice, Richie caught sight of a dark-haired woman in a white lab coat, half-leaning against a nearby gatepost. "See you've met my granddaughter, Casey Ivy," the woman said in that same slow voice. "I'm Professor Ivy, and I almost thought you weren't coming."

Richie blinked. This woman, Ivy, didn't look old enough to be the grandmother of anybody. "Um, I'm really sorry," he said finally. "But, you see, I'm not supposed to be here. As soon as I find my Pikachu, I'll be sure to leave and…"

"You want a Pikachu?" Ivy asked, shaking her head. "Sorry, Richie, but all of my Pokémon have already been taken by trainers who were on time. But, if you're that desperate, I guess you could have…this last one."

Richie shook his head as Ivy extracted a PokéBall from her coat pocket. "I really couldn't take your Pokémon," he protested, backing away. "Besides, I've got my own Pokémon…" He reached for his pockets and felt desperately around.

_Oh no. Must have left the PokéBalls in the washing machine again! Even if I ever manage get of this place, Zippo's going to roast me alive._

There as a thud as Ivy's PokéBall dropped onto the ground and rolled against his feet. In a burst of crimson light, a small, hunched-over form was released into the middle of the road. As Richie bent down to see what kind of Pokémon it was, an ear-piercing yowl shattered the air. 

"AH!" Richie screamed, staggering back. His face stung with red, puffy scratches, courtesy of the surly-looking Pokémon that had just emerged.

"Who put me in dat dere PokéBall!" the Meowth fumed. It turned on a wide-eyed Richie, baring its silvery claws. "You're gonna pay, twerp!"

"Maybe I should have warned you that there's a problem with this one," Ivy drawled, watching amusedly as Richie dodged Meowth's violent Fury Swipes. She tossed a Pokédex and several PokéBalls in the trainer's direction, not bothering to hide her disappointment when Richie caught them before they could conk him on the head.

"Sparky, where are you?" Richie shouted, running headlong down the path. "Sparky, help!"

Meowth went barreling after him, claws shaking in anger. "Come back here, you twerp!"

Blinded by his own panic, Richie made the classic mistake of looking back to gauge the distance between himself and his pursuer. Needless to say, he promptly tripped over a stone in the path. Screaming, he went down, sprawling into the path in front of a pair of polished leather shoes.

"Oh, Richie! I'm so proud of you!" Giovanni's voice boomed from above. "You're finally going to fulfill your dream of becoming a Pokémon trainer! But…I'm going to miss you so much! Oh, my little boy!"

Richie sighed as Giovanni pulled out a silk handkerchief and blew his nose noisily. "For the last time," he said in as rational and polite a voice as he could manage. "I am _not_ your son!"

A bulky backpack landed right on top of Richie's back, knocking all the air from his lungs. "Let's see, I've packed your sneakers and jeans, nice clean shirts and underwear, your favorite snacks and some vodka, in case you want something…"

"Aargh!"

Giovanni stopped, not because of Richie's tortured outburst, but because he had caught sight of Meowth getting ready to attack the fallen trainer. "Hmm? Is that your new Pokémon, son?"

"B-boss?" Meowth gaped, eyes growing to the size of dinner plates and claws lowering to its sides. "Dis here twerp's your son? And…what's with dat apron you're wearing?"

Giovanni patted the confused Meowth affectionately on the head. "Why, aren't you the cutest little thing! You and Richie are going to get along just wonderfully!"

"Really?" Meowth said uneasily, eyeing Richie out of the corner of its eye. Quickly, the feline Pokémon straightened its back and saluted. "If youz say so, Boss. I'll…um, try my best." 

Giovanni smiled and patted Meowth on the head again. "You hear that, Richie?" he called down to the shocked trainer. "You and your new Meowth are friends already!"

"_His _ Meowth?!" Meowth yelped. It grinned innocently as Giovanni looked down. But as soon as he had turned away, the cat Pokémon growled and shook its claws in Richie's direction.

Richie groaned, letting the weight of the backpack crush him against the dirt. This was going to be a long, painful day.

* * *

"Youz expect me to believe dat a big hole appeared outta of nowhere and sucked you up? Just like dat?" Meowth snapped its claws together to demonstrate 

As both trainer and Pokémon made their way down the road out of Pallet, Richie nodded glumly. "And it took my Pikachu, Sparky, too."

"Well, come to think of it," Meowth started, putting a claw under its chin in musing. "I remember something big and purple coming at me, too. I was raiding da snack pantry with Jesse and James, and _whoosh!_ I just blacked out!"

"And next thing you knew," Richie continued for it, "you found yourself in that PokéBall, right?"

Meowth nodded.

Richie sighed. "It seems like that portal's been sucking up Pokémon characters left and right and sticking them here! And, as far as we know, there's no way to get back to where we came from."

"Hey, wait one minute dere!" Meowth yelled, throwing up its paws. "Who's dis 'we' you keep talking about, twerp? Dere's no 'we' here! Da only reason I'm here is because da Boss is off his rocker!"

"Why do you listen to him, then?" Richie asked, irritation creeping into his voice.

Meowth sniffed sadly, an amazing feat for someone with such an obvious lack of a nose. "Old habits die hard," it defended itself. "Besides, da Boss is pretty nerve-racking up close and all. Even if he _is_ wearing a pink apron."

Stifling an exasperated sigh, Richie quickened his pace. "Well," he said with fake cheer, still trying to be as polite as possible. "That's fine by me. You don't have to stick with me all the time. You're free to go off on your own."

"But da Boss said…"

Richie waved this off dismissively. "It's okay, Meowth," he said. "Besides, we'll cover more ground if we split up. We'll be able to find Sparky, and a way to get out of this weird place, a lot faster."

"You're trying to get rid of me, aren't you, twerp?"

"No!" Richie cried. "Why would I do that?"

Meowth crossed its skinny arms in a very matter-of-fact manner. "You're supposed to be da nice twerp," it informed Richie smugly. "So, obviously, you're da sneaky one who stabs peoples in the back when dey're not looking."

"Hey, that's not true!"

"Yep, it's da nice one you gotta keep your eye on!" Meowth went on. "You never know when dey're gonna turn on you."

Face growing red, Richie lowered his head and kicked a stone out of the path. "You know that's not true, Meowth," he argued. "Some people are just nice because…well, because they're nice!'

Meowth opened its mouth to reply. However, the stone Richie had kicked was now arching over its head. The Pokémon craned its neck back, watching the rock as it spiraled downward. Thudding, unfortunately, right into the head of an unsuspecting Togepi.

"Uh oh," Richie squeaked as the Togepi burst into loud, cascading sobs. "I'm sorry!" he cried, running up to the injured baby Pokémon. "I didn't mean to hit you like that! Here, I've got a Potion somewhere, it'll make you feel better right away…"

As Richie dug around in his pockets, the Togepi abruptly stopped crying. An evil gleam flashed through its beady eyes, unseen by all save for Meowth.

"Hey, twerp!" Meowth called as the Togepi waddled to the side. "I don't like da looks of dat dere Pokémon!"

"The Togepi? But, Meowth, it's only a baby! What could it do?"

Burbling innocently, the Togepi stood on the tips of its feet and chirped out a single sweet note. 

Instantly, an entire swarm of the egg-like Pokémon surrounded Richie and Meowth, their chubby faces leering in and giggling maniacally. In unison, the Togepi cocked their small fingers back in forth in an impending Metronome attack. 

"Run?" Meowth gulped to its trainer companion. 

"RUN!"

Screaming, both Richie and Meowth raced down the road. The swarm of Togepi tumbled after them, releasing random Fire Blasts, Hydro Pumps, and Thunder attacks as they went. 

"Dis is all your fault!" Meowth wailed, quickening its steps as the panting Richie fell behind. "Getting a bunch of evil eggs to attack us, real smart!"

"Meowth, slow down!" Richie cried. "You're going to run right over those falls!"

"Ha, if you think I'll fall for dat one, den you're pretty dumb! Even for a twerp!"

"Look out!" Richie screamed over the roar of the oncoming waterfall. 

Meowth, spotting the flecks of foam flying into the air ahead, tried to skid to a stop. Its momentum, however, was far too great. It went flying past the edge of the cliff and over the crashing falls, Richie only a split-second behind it.

* * *

"Richie? Tracey? Masato? Hey, where are you guys?" 

From her perch atop a nearby boulder, May sighed in frustration. To her back lay impenetrable forest. To her front, a raging river. Of course, there was also that quaint little dirt path leading away from this clearing, along with that conveniently placed bicycle. 

Of course, it wouldn't be right just to ride off. Not if the others were nearby and seriously hurt.

"Hey!" May yelled again, getting up from the rock. "If anybody can hear me, say something!"

"Help!" came a strangled shout.

Swerving about, May spotted a bedraggled boy in the river, grabbing onto a tree root as he was carried past. On his back clung a hissing Meowth, who was shaking droplets of water from its soaking fur. 

"Richie, what happened to you?" May asked as she helped the boy out of the water. "And where'd that Meowth come from?"

"Long story!" Richie panted, wiping water from his face. His eyes widened as he saw a growing swarm of white forms bobbing down the river. 

"Run, May, run!" he yelled, scooping up the sodden Meowth and sprinting away from the river. May turned around in time to see Richie fling one leg over the nearby bike, place Meowth in the bike basket, and shoot down the path, pedaling madly.

Cackling madly, the Togepi hopped out of the water and advanced on May. The girl's blue eyes widened as the evil eggs closed in around her.

"RICHIE!"

* * *

Lightning streaked across the sky, followed immediately by a boom of thunder. Richie fought to keep the bike upright as rain pelted down on the road, turning the path into a treacherous pit of mud. Rainwater got into his eyes and wind whipped hair into his face.

But a small storm wouldn't distract the evil Togepi, oh no! Gritting his teeth, Richie pedaled on. 

"You think it was right to leave dat girl with da eggs?" Meowth spluttered, poking its head up from inside the bike basket.

"It was either her or us!" Richie yelled back as the bike took an especially bone-jarring jump.

Despite its soaking fur, Meowth managed a wan grin. "Hey, I think some of my attitude rubbing off on you, twerp!"

"You say dat…that…like it's a good thing!"

They plowed through an enormous puddle, sending up thick sprays of water. Before Richie could react, the bike's front wheel caught in a patch of mud. The front end of the bicycle stayed stuck, while the back went flying over. Richie and Meowth both screamed as the bike went tumbling end over end, before crashing into a nearby tree.

Shoving bent bike parts to the side, Richie got agonizingly slowly to his feet. "Meowth?" he called, digging through the broken remains of the bicycle. "Meowth, you okay?"

A pained yowl rose up from the shredded bike basket. "My tail!" Meowth sobbed, clutching said appendage to its chest. "I think I just went and broke all da bones in my beautiful tail!"

"Do tails even have bones in them, Meowth?"

Meowth glared. Richie's question, however, went unanswered. 

Illuminated in a flash of lightning was the Togepi swarm, toddling over the hill. Not rain or mud or wind did anything to slow the eggs' relentless march. Both boy and Pokémon opened their mouths in soundless cries of terror. The thunder roared ominously overhead.

"Meowth," Richie said solemnly as the rain pounded down around them. "I'm sorry for every mean, cruel, or downright uncaring thing I've ever said to you."

"Including da one about da tail?"

"Including the one about da…the…tail."

Silence followed. The lightning flashed again as the egg army advanced.

Meowth cleared its throat pointedly. "Isn't dis about da point where you run up and try to fight dem off?" it demanded Richie impatiently.

"Me?"

"Fine, you'd probably screw it up anyways. We'll go at dem together."

"No, it's okay." Richie clenched his jaw and started forward. "I can handle this." 

Clearing his throat, the trainer stepped in front of Meowth and flung his arms apart. "Togepi!" Richie cried, rain getting into his throat and making him cough. "Hear me, Togepi!"

The swarm stopped momentarily, waiting for Richie to go on.

"You don't really want to attack us, do you?" Richie called out into the rain. "I mean, why can't we all just get along and be friends?"

A streaking Thunder attack hit the ground right by his foot, sizzling up his leg and sending him sprawling across the ground.

"_Dat's _ what you call fighting dem off?"

Richie, face contorted in pain, could not respond.

Cackling evilly, the Togepi closed in. Closing their eyes in trepidation, Richie and Meowth huddled against the ground.

As the demon eggs formed a circle around both boy and Pokémon, the rumble of thunder sounded above. The Togepi, too intent on their destructive deeds, did not see the streak of electricity falling from the sky, attracted by the Thunder attack that had been used earlier. 

Throwing off white-hot sparks, the natural lightning bolt struck the Togepi swarm head on. 

Instant scrambled eggs.

* * *

When Richie returned to consciousness, the first thing he saw was Meowth's face hovering over his own.

"Well, we beat 'em," the trainer managed with a faint laugh.

All he got for his efforts were a set of stinging red scratches across his face.

"Beat dem?!" Meowth yowled. "We were almost yolk fodder thanks to you and your brilliant plans!"

Unable to think of any good counter to this very true statement, Richie turned his gaze pleadingly skyward. And, to his amazement, caught sight of something truly extraordinary. 

The stormclouds had faded away, leaving only puffy white confections in their place. Above the clouds, a double-arched rainbow was glistening in the wet air. And above the rainbow, a strange shape was zooming across the sky…

"Look, Meowth!" Richie cried, bolting to his feet. "It's a flying Raikou!"

"Yeah, right! Everyone knows Raikou can't fly!" the cat Pokémon scoffed. But, curiosity overpowering its scorn, it snuck a glance into the sky. "You lying twerp! Dat ain't no flying Raikou! Dat's a flying Entei!"

"Raikou."

"Entei!"

"Raikou!"

"ENTEI!"

"Aw, Meowth! You scared it away."

And so, with spite and scorn, bickering and strife…

"I did NOT scare it away, you lousy twerp! YOU scared it away!"

"Did not."

"Did so!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

…Richie and Meowth…

"Meowth and Richie, you mean."

"Hey, it was fine the way it was before! Meowth, stop interrupting the narrator!"

…continue on their journey to find their friends and a way back home. Unbeknownst to them, this is just the beginning of a series of nonsensical nightmares…uh, that is, amazing adventures!

_To Be Continued…_

* * *

_Thanks goes to _The Duke of Briarcliffe_ and _The Review Guy_! I do think there should be more fics with Haruka/May in a starring role, though since she's so new, it'll probably be a while before people start to pick up on her. Eh, oh well._

_Anyone have any suggestions for the new Team Rocket?_


End file.
